Party #74 (Fulton St) and Party #76 (Grove St)

Original Partygoers transcript from the archives:

John: Unlike most nights recently, you could instantly feel the parties in the air on this night.

Steve: Absolutely. You could sense parties everywhere.

Will: It had been a beautiful day, like a taste of spring. People were out all day long having a good time, and you just knew that some of them were going to carry that on into the evening.

John: We ended up going to three parties on this night, but there were plenty more out there.

Will: We passed several we didn’t even bother with.

Steve: There was the potential to hit five or six, easily.

John: Anyway, #74 was a psychedelic party.

Steve: Edgar Allen Poe and Alice in Wonderland both factored into the decorating scheme.

Will: This was a definitely one of the more interesting ones we’ve been to lately.

John: One of the best parts was that girl spinning fire in the backyard.

Steve: Even better was the hula hoop guy. I’ve seen fire-spinning chicks, but I’ve never seen a jackass fall and accidentally plow the garden while trying to do a hula hoop.

Will: He took out every plant in the garden.

John: And the best part was that the girl who lived there had been warning people over and over to watch out for the garden. She was really concerned about it.

Steve: Right after she said that the dude did that weird dance and was gyrating so hard that he busted his ass.

John: Oh yeah, he skidded through the entire garden, heels first. He was kind of in pain, so I didn’t want to laugh out loud, but it was tough. My body was shaking from trying to stifle my laughter.

Will: He could have lost some teeth.

John: About the actual party, it should also be addressed that we’re still not sure what was in the first batch of punch that night. It may or may not have contained mind-altering substances.

Steve: We might have been dosed. With mushrooms, I think. We’re definitely not eligible for any government jobs now.

Will: I don’t want any government jobs.

John: Remember, when we first walked in that guy was like, “Don’t leave without trying the punch.” He was very insistent.

Will: Did he give you the old winky-wink when he said it?

John: Going back to when we first got there, Steve you went out and got ice and cups for them.

Steve: That’s right. The host was kind of stressed, so I asked what we could do to help and she said they were almost out of ice and cups.

John: She was getting visibly frustrated, and it was almost like we materialized out of thin air to help her.

Steve: We’re the Partygoers. That’s what we do.

John: #76 was our second costume party of the night – it had a sports theme. Also, they were a little hostile to us at this one.

Will: Definitely. They seemed upset that we weren’t wearing costumes.

Steve: Luckily, we knew what the theme was because the guy on the front porch told us. I told them that my costume was the Olympic swimmer Mark Spitz wearing street clothes. I said that I had a Speedo on underneath my pants.

John: I thought that was a great line.

Will: Me too.

Steve: I thought it bombed.
John: Those people didn’t deserve a line like that. They had no sense of humor. There were a lot of tools at this party.

Steve: What about BASSman?

Will: He didn’t like us. He was totally intimidated by us.

John: He was a little nerdy and had no idea what to make of us.

Will: Think about it – this guy probably hasn’t been out in six or seven years, right? All of a sudden he’s sitting there by himself and three guys walk up and start talking to him.

John: And Will immediately goes “Nice urine stain on your shirt.”


John: He obviously didn’t know our inside joke about that, so he was totally confused right off the bat.

Steve: And then we sort of went off on a comedy routine about his costume.

John: That’s right. With that BASS hat on we said he’d fit in at a bass fishing party, a bass playing party, or a 3rd Bass fan club party.

Steve: He had no idea what the hell we were talking about.

Will: We were just riffing.

Steve: He was totally confused.

Will: Also, this was the one where that chick had that fish hook in her nose. What the fuck was that about?

Steve: She also had Roman garb on with fake blood all over it.

John: I never got that costume, or what it had to do with sports.

Will: There was punch at this party, too.

John: It definitely didn’t have any mushrooms in it, though. I don’t even think it had alcohol in it.

Steve: It was a Hi-C party.

John: It’s rare that we can go to a party where we’re the coolest people there, but I think we finally found one.

July 28, 2011

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