Press Release: 4/3/2003
**Urgent! The Party Spirit of San Francisco is Dangerously Low**
The Partygoers Announce Emergency “Spring into Action!” Campaign to Heal the City
San Francisco – April 3, 2003 – The Partygoers, San Francisco’s premier party visitating visionaries, announced today that the party spirit of San Francisco has reached a dangerously low level. To combat this dire state of affairs, the Partygoers have created an emergency “Spring into Action!” campaign to rejuvenate the City and its citizens.
As of March 31st, 2003, the Party Spirit Index (PSI) was down more than 73% from its all-time high in February 2000. The Partygoers warn that if this trend continues the City may suffer through a party drought equal to or worse than the Great Party Depression of 1932.
As the cornerstone of the Spring into Action! campaign, the Partygoers’ first proposal is that a new government agency be created, to be staffed by themselves. This agency, to be known as the San Francisco Department of Partygoing (SFDP) will be responsible for helping cultivate and maintain a robust PSI, thereby helping mend the wounds of a failed economy, failed leadership, and a nation at war.
“The Partygoers are asking Mayor Willie Brown and the entire Board of Supervisors to take immediate action on this proposal,” said Paul Linton Hart, Partygoers press secretary. “Because a happy population is a productive population, the Partygoers believe that not only is it important to enact their agenda at once, it is imperative for the very survival of this fair City.”
The Partygoers are dedicated to spreading goodwill through the spontaneous visitation of social gatherings and celebrations. These visionaries, three twin brothers separated at birth, use a unique blend of old school technique and new age technology to enrich and enliven even the dullest of occasions. Founded in 1997, the Partygoers are based in the W.A. (Western Addition), San Francisco.
Paul Linton Hart, Press Secretary
[Mr. Hart’s whereabouts are current unknown; contact info redacted]
July 28, 2011