Party #92 (McAllister St)

Original Partygoers transcript from the archives:

Will: This was the night of our annual Thanksgiving feast.

Steve: It was delicious, by the way. John, thanks for hosting.

John: Actually it was at Kim’s, but you’re welcome.

Will: We hiked for what seemed like miles.

John: Steve had the happy feet. He was in one of his moods this night.

Will: We brought a twelver of PBR to this one. I don’t think we should do that anymore, though – it’s a cheap trick.

Steve: Yeah, it’s too easy. We don’t need that.

John: Anyway, I would say out of all the parties we’ve been to – nearly 100 by now – that this was one of the top 5 chilliest receptions we’ve ever encountered. We were hated immediately.

Steve: That’s right – it was a bad vibe from the get go.

John: I was the first one up the stairs, and I could just see people pointing at us and whispering as we were heading up.  We were absolutely hated.

Will: As I recall, the dance floor was pretty much empty except for a couple of hookers.

Steve: They were the only ones who were interested in our PBR.

John: Who has a party like that and invites hookers? And yet the hosts shunned us.

Will: For the record, we were not kicked out. We left on our own accord.

Steve: On the way out I thought they’d stolen our 12 pack, so I went up to the host and was like “hey fella, keep the beer.”

Will: And then you found it and took it with you. Oh well.

John: This was one of the worst parties ever. In the small chance that the hosts are reading this, because we put a sticker on their fridge, I have a message for you – you suck. Hard.

Will: Agreed. Party of the Year is most definitely not coming your way.

Steve: And it’s my job to once again say that we shouldn’t be so negative.

John: They were the ones being negative! To us.

Will: It’s not like I’m saying they should go fuck a goat or anything, I’m just saying that their party sucked.

John: Well, I’m saying they should go fuck a goat.

Steve: They need help and we should pity them. They need our constructive criticism, not insults.

Will: Ok, here’s some constructive criticism – don’t suck so hard.

July 28, 2011

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