SF Weekly Letter to the Editor, 3/26/03

When the SF Weekly did a fawning cover story on costumed pirate people in San Francisco, the Partygoers, still smarting from their setback at Party #22, leapt into action with a sternly worded letter to the editor. Because a missive from the Goers one of life’s great honors, it was published in the next issue. You can read the letter in its original context here, or feast your eyes on our archived version below:

August 11, 2011  Leave a comment

Party #22 (Scott St)

Original Partygoers transcript from the archives:

Steve: Given that we weren’t dressed as pirates, I think it showed an incredible amount of guts to go into this one.

Will: It was our first costume party – we knew it was a pirate party going in.

John: We actually got all the way to the backyard before we got thrown out.

Steve: It took a few minutes for word to spread to the right person that we were there.

John: And then we were rudely dismissed.

Will: But not nearly as rudely as the second time they kicked us out.

John: Never let it be said that we give up easily. The second time it was like they were waiting for us, though.

Will: It was like a sting operation or something. They really weren’t happy to see us again.

John: I darted in and managed to get inside but I think you guys got stopped at the door, so I had to give myself up.

Will: I got my foot in the door and that’s about it.

Steve: John, you ran in! I bet you were thinking of your dubloons line the whole time.

John: I was so proud of that line, then the next day it turned out that nobody we told the story to knew what dubloons were.

Steve: Sad.

August 8, 2011  Leave a comment

Guess What’s in Steve’s Cupboard!

One of the many delightful features of the Partygoers’ original website was an interactive game that gave participants an unprecedented behind-the-scenes look at the glamorous life of a Goer by examining the contents of the cupboard in Steve Partygoer’s very own Western Addition (OSG District) bachelor pad. Today, we recreate that game using actual photography and data from said pad, circa 2002.

That’s right, once again it’s time to Guess What’s in Steve’s Cupboard. Take a look at the picture below, say your answer out loud and click Continue Reading to see if your intuition was correct. Winners will receive a $25 gift certificate good for Partygoers merchandise and memorabilia.

Steve's Cupboard continue reading »

August 6, 2011  1 Comment

Obama and the Partygoers

Although it certainly hasn’t been the best month for Barack Obama, the fact that he and the First Lady toasted the Partygoers at his inauguration was a special moment and one that will be long remembered.

August 5, 2011  Leave a comment

History of the Partygoers: Prologue

In their early days, the Partygoers were such a sensation that top scholars and journalists battled over the honor of becoming their official biographer. Eventually, they selected an up-and-coming young writer named Paul Linton Hart for the job. Before he eventually fled the country (last seen living on a houseboat in Amsterdam), Mr. Hart completed 15 chapters and a prologue. Unfortunately, their written story ends in late 2001, but it nonetheless provides a fascinating glimpse into the Goers’ heady rise to glory. Enjoy:

As far-fetched as the idea may now seem, there was a time when none of the Partygoers lived in San Francisco. The Goers hail from all parts of North America: Steve from the frozen wilds of southern Canada, John from the infamous backwoods of Arkansas and Will, the nomad, from truck stops and trailer parks all over the nation. One by one they converged in the City by the Bay, and although no one can be sure, it is thought in many circles that they were drawn together by the mighty hand of fate.

August 4, 2011  Leave a comment

Western Addition, Represent!

August 3, 2011  Leave a comment

Party #6 (Somewhere in Glen Park)

Original Partygoers transcript from the archives:

John: This was a real turning point for us – we were pretty low after the previous three parties.

Will: Definitely our first great experience.

Steve: And it was our first time out of the neighborhood – we took that rainy night cab ride out to Bernal Heights.

Will: Was it Bernal Heights?

John: Glen Park.

Steve: Oh, yeah.

John: We actually had to stand up in front of everybody and introduce ourselves in some sort of creative fashion.

Steve: Lesser men would have crumbled in this situation.

Will: Justin was with us on this one. He gave that fiery speech that had everybody cheering.

Steve: He was a partygoing natural, except for his crippling fear of actually entering parties.

John: I remember it was rainy out and Will slipped down that entire flight of stairs in the backyard and fell into a lemon tree.

Will: Which hurt, by the way. I deserved a Purple Heart or something.

Steve: And then there was the incident on the cab ride home.

John: I think that driver is still looking for Will.

Will: No comment.

John Partygoer enriches and enlivens party #6 by playing a haunting rendition of Radiohead’s “Karma Police” on the piano while wearing a Conehead hat:

July 30, 2011  Leave a comment

Random Thoughts, Part 1

The Partygoers are pleased to present this collection of visionary thoughts, terms, and ideas – ready for your use at any social gathering.

“Pre-enactment” – a dramatic re-enactment of something that’s about to happen.

“All ladies love Dabney Coleman” – state this truism whenever possible. (note: Mr. Coleman is a close family friend of Steve Partygoer, who refers to him as “Uncle Dab”)

“Living the recession-proof lifestyle” – when you are poor and living very frugally (i.e. not overextending yourself) you are immune to the whims of the global economy.

“Ass $20” – technique for exacting revenge on particularly bad service: pay with a $20 bill that has been safely wedged in a butt crack for such occasions. Warning: use sparingly, as it carries major risk of karmic damage.

July 30, 2011  Leave a comment

Party #27 (Scott St)

Original Partygoers transcript from the archives:

John: This was that black tie costume party.

Steve: Sweet.

Will: Yeah, they had the masks and tuxedos and the glitter on the floor.

John: And there was that one guy who didn’t want to get his picture taken because he claimed he was a politician, and that other guy claimed he was his bodyguard.

Will: And Steve, you helped that girl who was having a relationship crisis.

Steve: Oh God, she looked horrible in the pictures. It was like she’d been crying for eight hours. Her eyes were all swollen.

John: The funny thing is that in the pictures, you and everybody else are having a great time and there she is in the middle having a breakdown.

Steve: I was loving it!

Will: We should put that picture on a billboard on I-80. (hysterical laughter)

John: Or maybe dangle a giant copy from the Goodyear blimp above a 49ers game. (hysterical laughter)

Steve: Bad karma! We’ve got to get away from this topic! (more laughter)

July 29, 2011  Leave a comment

Best Fridge Ever

Will Partygoer tests the kegerator at Party #39:

July 29, 2011  Leave a comment

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