Party #82 (Page St)
Original Partygoers transcript from the archives:
John: By this point we were bored and needed a challenge.
Steve: We’d gone through all our usual entry lines – “we’re your new neighbors”, “we were walking home and heard the noise”, “we have a friend from out of town who wants to see the SF scene”, etc.
Will: Then I remembered that the UPS guy at work had told us that the office used to be used as a porn studio. He said he’d walk in and there’d be some guy bangin’ some chick on the couch. Everybody at work thought that was hilarious.
Steve: So of course we thought that sounded like a perfect Partygoer line!
John: I think that was a rare lapse in judgment on our part. In retrospect, that line was definitely not perfect.
Will: Well, our problem was the angle. If we’d gone in there and said that one of us used to work for UPS and that we remembered seeing that apartment used as a place where people filmed pornos, then it probably would have been ok.
Steve: Instead we took the approach of guys who had seen A LOT of pornos.
Will: Our opening line was “We’ve seen a porno that was filmed here.”
John: No, it was worse than that. It was “A lot of our favorite pornos were filmed here and we’ve always wanted to see this place for ourselves.” Like we were these three dudes off the street who were such porn fanatics that we’d watch the movies together and then go to the places where they were filmed.
Steve: And then we started pointing out landmarks around the apartment…“those are the stairs where that one scene was shot.”
Will: Awful, just awful.
John: We’re lucky they didn’t call the cops on us at that point.
Will: We were in the middle of a really good conversation with somebody when we dropped the line. We’d been cracking him up, and then all of a sudden his face just fell and he ran away.
Steve: He could not get away fast enough.
Will: He actually passed us off to his friend, and then we chased that guy off too.
John: The really sad thing is that later that night we were like “what went wrong?” We didn’t realize what we’d done until weeks later. We were like “why did that party go south so suddenly?” and then it finally of dawned on us that there was a problem.
Steve: That was a major party foul.
Will: We only used that line once though.
Steve: You’d think after 81 parties we wouldn’t have anything else to learn, but we were wrong.
Will: Don’t mess with success.
John: We learned our lesson. And that lesson was don’t pass yourselves off as porn aficionados. Not just porn fans, but guys who are such extreme porn fans that they know where their favorite movies are filmed and go to a party there. Don’t do that.
July 28, 2011